THE FIRST TIME I SAW THE REJECTS I WAS BOWLED OVER BY JUST HOW EXCITING AND POWERFUL YOU ARE AS A BAND… DO YOU THINK THE OI SCENE NEED MORE BANDS OF YOUR CALIBRE…
You wot?
DO YOU THINK THE OI SCENE NEEDS MORE BANDS AS GOOD AS YOU?
Well yeah, I s’pose it does… all the others are shit really, but the fing is they’ll never be as good as us, ‘cos we’re the fucking best mate. Some people might say different but we don’t give a shit.
SO YOU DON’T TAKE PART IN INTER-BAND RIVALRY?
What the fuck is that… a fucking Italian football team? You been reading dictionaries you speccy fucking nonce? Fuckin’ ‘ell [to rather large and threatening roadie:] Oi, H, you oughtta ‘ave a listen to this cant ‘ere…some sorta fackin’ swot! [both start laughing]
WELL I MEAN DO YOU CARE WHAT OTHER BANDS SAY ABOUT YOU?
Who’s been saying stuff about us? [getting angry] Eh? Who’s been fuckin’ saying stuff?
WHAT I’M TRYING TO SAY IS DO YOU FEEL PART OF THE OI SCENE?
I’ll tell ya this son, we don’t give a monkeys what any cunt says about us… they can say what they fackin’ want. We don’t care. What’s the point in bothering what some no-mark fackin’ two-bob geezer says about ya eh?
WELL FOR EXAMPLE I WAS MEANING LIKE WHEN THE SINGER OF KILLING JOCK SAID ALL OI BANDS ARE JUST THICK SHEEP, AND THE REJECTS WERE THE WORST…
[erupting] ‘E said facking WOT? ‘E said that about facking us did ‘e… that fucking cant… I ain’t standing for no cant saying shit about us… it’s not facking on mate… I’m not gonna sit ‘ere and let some stuck-up bleedin’ ponce with no bottle say stuff about us. I have one fing to say to that cant, and it’s come up and say that to my fackin’ face you facking nonce cant, andI’ll knock your fucking teeth in [turning to roadie] Oi H, you hearing all this… reckon we need to get van togever… a fackin FULL van. Cheeky cants are taking bleedin’ liberties. Need sorting out…
BUT I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU DON’T CARE WHAT PEOPLE SAY…
[irate] What, are you facking starting too son? [starts to get up]
NO, NO, IT’S JUST THAT I THOUGHT YOU KNEW THAT YOU WERE SO GOOD THAT PEOPLE WOULD BE JEALOUS AND WOULD SAY THINGS ABOUT YOU… IT’S ‘COS YOUR BAND IS SO GOOD…
[calming down slightly] Well mate, I know wot you mean… it’s ‘cos them cants will never be as good as us [shouts] WE WILL NEVER BE PUT AWAY! Nah, seriously though, I s’pose you’re right… wot it is is that we don’t give a shit what people say right… but if anyone says anything, right, well, they’re gonna get done know wot I mean? Okay, right, people can say wot they like… but they’d better have some mates to back them up if they do say anything, tell ya that son. And they’ll still get done [shouts] FROM SCOTLAND DOWN TO CORNWALL WE DONE THE LOT WE TOOK ‘EM ALL! [ turning to the roadie] Oi H, remember that cant in Cornwall… the one that looked at us funny… ha ha, bet ‘e was off school for fackin ages after the doing we give the little cant. Right larf so it was.
WELL THAT KIND OF BRINGS ME ONTO ONE OF THE MAIN POINTS PEOPLE MAKE REGARDING THE REJECTS… THAT THERE’S A LOT OF VIOLENCE AT YOUR GIGS…
Nah, there ain’t no violence at our gigs… well no more than at other peoples. I mean, people say that we’re violent… but we ain’t… the songs are just about fings that ‘appen like… it doesn’t mean we’re violent just ‘cos we sing about wot ‘appens.
BUT SINCE MOST OF YOUR SONGS HAVE SOME SORT OF REFERENCE TO VIOLENCE DOES THAT MEAN THERE’S A LOT AT YOUR GIGS… SINCE YOU SEEM TO HAVE A LOT TO SING ABOUT I MEAN…
Listen son, I just told you there’s no violence at our gigs.
YEAH BUT THERE MUST BE SOME FOR YOU TO SING ABOUT…
For fucks sake, will you listen you speccy little git… [leans over and shouts in my face] THERE’S NO VIOLENCE AT OUR GIGS. You got that? We ain’t violent people… well, Vince can be sometimes like, at games an’ that, but that’s just natural… protecting the name of West ‘Am an’ that. Where the band are concerned we’re about music, not violence.
THE LAST TIME I SAW YOU THE WHOLE BAND ATTACKED THE CROWD AT THE END…
Well that was different wasn’t it. If you were there like you say then you willa seen what ‘appened…
THE BAND JUMPED OFF STAGE AT THE END OF BUBBLES AND ATTACKED TWO PEOPLE…
Yeah mate, but that’s only one side of the story innit… you didn’t see wot those two guys done… Stinky was doing his dance where he puts his arms behind his back and walks in a circle… I mean, I never saw the guys do it, but Nige did… they laughed at Stinky… so I mean, wot we meant to do? Just stand there and let cants take the piss? I mean, wot would you do?
WELL I…
You’d do exactly the same as us wouldn’t ya? They wasn’t laughing when we jumped down and ‘ad a ruck wiv ‘em… so really, we stopped the trouble before it started… so how can we be violent when we actually stop the trouble?
WELL…
See now you understand, you can print in your paper that we ain’t about trouble. What’s the name of you paper anyway?
IT’S MORE OF A FANZINE THAN A PAPER REALLY, IT’S…
[sneering] A fanzine? ‘Ow many people read that? Fackin you and your muvver I bet… fucks sake, I wouldn’t ‘ave bothered if I’d known it was only some little rag. I bet you ain’t no Gary Bushell eh son?
WELL I WOULDN’T REALLY WANT TO BE, SINCE HE NOW WORKS FOR THE SUN…
Fuck all wrong with the Sun mate… wot you trying to say? Gary’s a good mate of ours, so I’d watch yer mouth. We’ve ‘ad loads of laffs with Gary… diamond geezer… always buys his round… you wouldn’t find ‘im paying his gambling debts from his old dears gas money… you ever done that son… bet ya fuckin’ ‘ave too. [starts mumbling… couldn’t make it out]
NO I’VE…
[turning to roadie] Oi, H, check this git out… wadya reckon… two-bob geezer or wot eh? [indecipherable grunts from the roadie] . Ha ha, too right, a good fucking slapping at that… So ‘ow much we being paid for this interview then?
ER, NOTHING… IT’S ONLY A SMALL FANZINE…
‘ang on a minute… you fink we’re doing this for free… facks sake son, we got families to support… Sky Sports subscriptions to pay… bills, know wot I mean? You’d better hand over some lolly, or it’s soapy bubble for you mate…
BUT I THOUGHT YOU KNEW…
You fackin’ thought wrong my son… [standing up], you look like you ain’t got no bottle, but I ‘ave to admire this little caper… [laughing] alright, alright, you’ve ‘ad yer laff… nice try an’ that, but it’s time to ‘and over the money…
BUT I’M NOT JOKING… I DON’T HAVE…
[shouting] Don’t mess us around… give us the facking loot you facking little slag… right, H, let’s do this cheeky little cant… this is one liberty too many…

At this point, both the roadie and McGeggus attacked me. I was held upside down until what little money I had fell out my pockets. Not happy with this, the pair then proceeded to kick me as I lay on the ground, between shouts of "West Ham" and "Do the cant". I have never been so humiliated in all my life. When the pair felt they had done enough damage they physically threw me out of the building… at which point the singer Stinky turned up and also started laying into me, saying it wasn’t right that he’d missed out on a ruck… and that he wasn’t shitting out. This resulted in me receiving two black eyes and bruised ribs. I was barely able to crawl away, with the whole band now laughing and mocking me. I also received a nasty burn on my hand from the fireworks they started throwing at me. All in all, this is the worst experience I have ever had in dealing with a band. It pissed me off so much that I’ve given up the zine I was doing. This is the last interview I’ll ever do.